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FICTION

July, 1975

HIGH GEAR

Lambda: A News Report From The Future Ziggy Sootkows

The year is 2054. The place, Lambda, a nation incorporated during the economic riots of the 1980's on an island once called Scotland off the Eastern Atlantic coast. The population predominantly homosexual......

After a heated debate in the Chambers of Counsel, the Modern Liberationist Party has again defeated an attempt by minority sects to repeal the statute that states unequivocably: "Although they may share in the economic benefits of our land, heterosexuals are not to be given the same versonal and social rights as homosexuals. Because heterosevuals are mentally deranged and may subversively affect the values of our people, they must be kept under constant watch." The law, clearly discriminatory, was first established in 1992 as a measure to insure that the oppressive peoples of the outside world would never again exploit and dehumanize the Lambdans. Since the statute's inception sirty-two years ago, the concept of heterosexual inferiority has permeated Lambdan culture and made life for straight people here highly intolerable. "o correct the economic inequities of the past for all people, the revolutionary counsel agreed ha* heterosexuals cannot be discriminated against in the onen job market; however social pressures force straights to practically live underground.

A man and a woman strolling arm-in-arm down Liberty Boulevard in the nation's capital are subject to ridicule.phyical harrassment, and biting glares of contempt. National psychoanalysts encourage diversionary shock treatment for heterosexuals wishing to change their unnatural eual orientations. And the numerous churches of the land view straights as manifestations of the demons who have relentlessly brought about earthly chaos.

his reporter was fortunate enough to interview a number of heterosexual Lambdans. Among some of their comments and lamentations were: "I's simply horrid. No one can live in a continual state of rejection like this. We're treated as sub-humans, outcasts." "Straights have no open places to congregate. Like Biblical lepers, we whisper and hide in the musty basements of warehouses." "God forbid that a woman should get pregnant here! She is not only publically chastised but deported immediately as well."

Curious as to why straight people just don't pack their bags and leave, I asked a young computer technician why he tolerated such oppressive behavior: "This is my home. My family ancestry can be traced back for centuries from this land. I am also quite materially comfortable. I will never leave. We must continue the struggle to secure our human rights.

The heterosexual issue seems to be dividing this wealthy comfortable recluse on the sea. Empathetic homosexuals are steadily increasing their support to the straight cause: but the governmental traditionalists still hold all of the cards. The traditionalists, whose power stems mostly from the M. L. P. (Modern Liberationist Party) cite the following reasons for maintenance of the anti-straight statute: 1) o permit open heterosexuality would undermine the moral standards of this nation. "Everyone is well aware of how heterosexuals try to force their sexuality upon others." 2) If straights were granted equal status, it would only be a matter of time before they controlled the major means of production in Lambda. "We would be at their mercy."

3) Heterosexuality is a mental illness that must be treated and re-conditioned.

4) Chances of homosexual molestation will greatly increase with heterosexual equalization. "Our people will be too uneasy working with known heterosexuals who might approach them."

Heterosexuals are not a legitimate minority.

Because heterosexuals are not permitted to participate in the operation of government, their banner is now being carried by the Universal Freedom Allianc, a growing group of Gay people lead by "helma Balzug who submit the following justification for straight emancipation:

"First, since in Lambda there is no economic, cultural, or racial discrimination, it logically follows that there should be no sexual discrimination either: "otal liberation cannot exist until all peoples are free, and respected citizens Secondly, scientists have proven that sexual orientation is generally fived by the age of five. Straights cannot become Gay anymore easily than Gays can become straight. In itself heterosexuality is not a mental illness. Straights appear to be as economically productive as Gays. Next, because of our constitutionalized economic laws, it is unlikely that incoming heterosexuals can exploit Lambdans. We ultimately hold the key to our own destiny. Fourth, admission of straights and children to our nation cannot help but enrich our already varied culture and provide new, constructive modes of thinking. Finally, heterosexuals only wish to live their lives without continuous harrassment. They do not want to convert us to their way of thinking, but only desire to exist as freely as other Lambdans.

"

The U. F. A is slowly chipping away at the sacred cows of the traditionalists. U. L. A. members privately admit, however, that there is a hidden fear that some of the more powerful Lambdans may overreact to the heterosexual rights movement and further oppress straight people.. Some reliable:

sources even indicate that the present government is in the process of building isolated concentration camps in case the "heterosexuals get out of hand."

From all indications, Lambda is the richest and fastest developing country in the world. With a populace that represents the knowledge and customs of every culture on earth. Lambda has the potential to be the universal model of a new wave of prosperity, harmony, and peace. Or it can repeat the same horrendous mistakes that plagued past civilizations and respond to its problems with a vicious, genocidal crunch It appears that only time will present us with the final score. The alternatives, however, are clear, and the whole world is watching to see which path the superpower of the 21st century will follow.

Constance Comments

CONSTANCE COMMENTS is a feature column, and while subject editorialization, does not necessarily reflect in any way th editorial policies of the HIGH GEAR newspaper, and HIGH GEAR does not accept the responsibility for the validity of its contents.

Well, after an extended vacation, here I am once more! A lot has happened in the old city since I last put pen to paper. Mainly, the opening of the Bayou Landing. Oh, I know, you want to tell me that it hasn't opened. Well, dearie, it's just a matter of time, a matter of time. Rumor has it that the competition can't take it, and trouble with the various licenses isn't completely accidental. However, the management of the Bayou is strictly business down the line, and they won't let anything stop them from opening what promises to be the hottest nightclub, straight or gay, to hit this town. I was at the opening (from what I understand, the first dry one in the history of gay clubs here), and the response of the near to 600 people who attended was something else. Sober, and anticipating, they were not disappointed. Tiffany Jones has stolen the heart of Cleveland, and assured himself of whatever future he desires in our fair town.

I must admit that I am depressed by what appears to be an attempt by established businesses to harrass a new member of our community. While there is no evidence to support the rumors flying around town, the simple fact that there are such rumors is evidence enough for some of us. While there is not always fire where there is smoke, I think the smoke is a littl thick hereabouts. Instead of trying to eliminate the potenti competition, why don't the local clubs just concentrate on improving their own businesses, and give the community that supports them a little support in return? There are only two clubs in the entire city of Cleveland that would put up Gay Pride Posters, or who will help promote community affairs. And in comparison with clubs around the country, our local bars rank pretty low on the scale. The Bayou is offering a goodlooking bar, with good music, a fantastic light show, and management that is out to serve the community. The rest of us had better start shaping up!

In a lighter vein, we have a new place in town, besides the Bayou. Rikki's, formerly Joann's, has opened with a clean, fresh look, and is under a good management. Unfortunately fo the under 21 crowd, it's another 21 bar, but for those of you who can, drop by, and tell Rikki that Constance sent you. Also for those of you who used to frequent the Change, and wonderc what happened to Mike the bartender, he's making Rikki's a nice place to be. Also, there is another good place that has had much publicity, but is doing very well, and that is the Godmother's II, out on E. 63rd, just north of St. Clair. It has become very popular, and has quite a varied crowd. The Silver Spur has put its name on the outside, and now maybe they'll become a more popular place with these of us who could never find the place before.

One last item. The ALTERNATIVE Coffeehouse that the MCC Sponsors could sure use some help. They are trying to provide something for the under 21 crowd, and are making a terrific attempt. But they are having one big problem, and that is getting entertainment for their Friday Nights. There are a lo of us out in the community that are talented, and could spare a few hours on a Friday Night. Give 'em a call.

If you've got any hot and juicy news flashes, just drop Constance aline at the HIGH GEAR, and I'll get the meat. At least I'll make every effort. If you know what I mean.